不同的畢業致詞 — 祝你不幸又遭背叛

台北 陽明山美軍眷舍 (2007~2012)

美國首席大法官羅伯茲 (John Roberts) 上月受邀前往兒子就讀的中學發表畢業致詞,結果引發媒體及網路瘋傳。因為他的致詞不但不是祝福孩子有前途、一帆風順,反而是希望台下所有學生遭遇「不幸」、「挫敗」甚至是「被背叛」。但當仔細讀完他的畢業致詞後,許多人深受感動,因為裡面充滿為人父母的掙扎與期待。

《華盛頓郵報》、《時代周刊》、《華爾街日報》等各大美國媒體近日陸續報導這段感動全美的畢業致詞。《華郵》記者說,這段上月3日在知名男校Cardigan Mountain School的致詞並未事先發布新聞稿,而是校方錄製完演說後上傳至YouTube,結果在一個月後開始發酵,陸續有多名讀者向《華郵》提供影片連結,還說即便自己和這位大法官的政治立場看法不同,卻仍大受感動。因為羅伯茲不是為孩子勾勒出美好的未來世界,而是希望他們能在現實社會裡跌跤後再勇敢爬起。

以下為致詞節錄中譯文:

「通常畢業致詞者會祝你們好運還會祝你們心想事成,但我不會這麼做。我會告訴你們原因。在接下來數年的三不五時間,我希望你們被不公平對待,如此你們才知道公平正義的重要。我希望你們遭遇背叛,如此才知道忠誠的重要性。

很抱歉要這麼說,但我希望你們有時感到孤單,這樣才不會把朋友當作理所當然。

我希望你們三不五時遭遇不幸,如此才能意識到機率和運氣在人生中扮演的角色,了解成功不是完全你所應得的,而他人的失敗也不是他們所應得的結果。

當你們失敗時,人生三不五時一定會有失敗,我希望你的對手會對你的失敗幸災樂禍,讓你們理解運動家精神的重要性。我希望你們遭忽視,如此才會知道聆聽他人的重要性,我還希望你們遭遇足夠的痛苦來學習同理心。

不管是否來自我的希望,這些事終究會發生。至於你們是否能從中獲利,則取決於你們從不幸中獲得訊息的能力。

畢業致詞者通常會給學生一些建議。他們會給一些廣泛的建議,也會給一些有用的小撇步。最常給的建議就是:做自己。給所有穿著一樣的人如此建議實在有點怪,但你們確實應該做自己。只是你們得了解做自己的意義何在。除非你很完美,否則做自己不代表不能接受改變。在某些狀況來說,你不應該做自己,而是應該變成更好的人。大家說『做自己』是因為他們希望你們能阻擋外界要求你們做的事,但除非你們了解自己是誰,或思考過自己是誰,否則無法『做自己』。」

以下為英文原文:

「Now the commencement speakers will typically also wish you good luck and extend good wishes to you. I will not do that, and I’ll tell you why. From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly, so that you will come to know the value of justice. I hope that you will suffer betrayal because that will teach you the importance of loyalty. Sorry to say, but I hope you will be lonely from time to time so that you don’t take friends for granted. I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either. And when you lose, as you will from time to time, I hope every now and then, your opponent will gloat over your failure. It is a way for you to understand the importance of sportsmanship. I hope you’ll be ignored so you know the importance of listening to others, and I hope you will have just enough pain to learn compassion. Whether I wish these things or not, they’re going to happen. And whether you benefit from them or not will depend upon your ability to see the message in your misfortunes.

Now commencement speakers are also expected to give some advice. They give grand advice, and they give some useful tips. The most common grand advice they give is for you to be yourself. It is an odd piece of advice to give people dressed identically, but you should — you should be yourself. But you should understand what that means. Unless you are perfect, it does not mean don’t make any changes. In a certain sense, you should not be yourself. You should try to become something better. People say ‘be yourself’ because they want you to resist the impulse to conform to what others want you to be. But you can’t be yourself if you don’t learn who are, and you can’t learn who you are unless you think about it. 」

文章取自:蘋果日報 / 2017.7.11 美首席大法官畢典致辭:祝你不幸又遭背叛

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